Deciding

In Pilates class, there are only two other participants besides me.

I wonder if it’s safe to go, but go anyway because it’s become almost a private class by now. The same with Yoga. Sometimes I’m joined by only one other person.

Both are local small enterprises and I feel good about supporting them. The light exercise soothes me, and gives me someplace to go as a distraction from working from home. It’s good for my posture, breathing, and stress levels.

You know, it’s already dark outside when my workday ends, and not being able to see if it’s raining, I just assume it probably is.

The government hasn’t banned indoors sports yet and I don’t know how long all this will last. Each week, I seem to decide again and again for the present moment only.

Today, the Pilates teacher tells us to lie down on the floor and draw a large circle with our arm, giving our sides and back a good stretch. Slowly, she says, draw the globe with your finger. Draw the globe and breathe.

In some comforting way, I feel like a child for a brief moment. Drawing our planet with my fingertip, tracing its edges in an invisible line, I feel like I’m healing it, erasing all of the poor planet’s troubles.

And it has so many troubles right now.

Where have all the good news gone?

When I meet people, I see a lack of that certain bright-eyed kind of hope for an exciting life doing happy things – exploring, experiencing, enjoying. People are enduring and waiting and watching. And yet, it could be so much worse. We have been lucky so far.

I want to just keep on drawing that globe and not get up from the floor at all. It feels safe here. I decide to come back.

The pictures are iPhone photos edited with Photoshop Camera

64 responses to “Deciding

    • Hope so! As an introvert, I never went to events much anyway, but I’m noticing most people around me are seeming exhausted and pale. And I do miss kids’ events. I wonder how my boys will make friends if they never go out and socialise? (Well, there’s daycare of course)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I am so glad to hear you are another fan of Yoga. It is such a valuable practise. have you tried meditation too? It sounds like everything is getting to you, but behind every cloud, the sky is still blue! Stay lucky, Snow.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ‘People are enduring and waiting and watching’ You have hit the nail on the head there, that’s definitely how I feel anyway. I feel like I am now hunkering down for the winter, just have to ride it out and see what 2021 brings. But like you say, it could be a lot worse. And your photos are gorgeous by the way! Lovely on their own, but they fit the mood of your post perfectly too.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Good decision to keep going. I think it helps to make the most one is able to do because it might be taken away again at any time. How nice to have such small classes. And, yes, the photos fit beautifully, as always.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Reading your post I can guess that thinks are not getting better there in Finland… Same in Switzerland, numbers are now skyrocketing and the government imposing stronger measures. I can’t tell if people have that bright-eyed hope… Some are still going out, hiking, exploring… Not me! Being pregnant means also being a high risk person these days, so I’m in a semi-lockdown situation, just going out when we really need it… It’s boring and makes the waiting seem even longer!
    I hope you can enjoy safely your pilates class for long! I’m a fan and I’m missing my classes now soooo much (here in Switzerland, my class is not the relaxing type, but the one that makes you sweat and get tired!! So it’s not an option for me now)! I’m even thinking on join my old class in Ireland online or something, hehehe
    Btw, I love the dark mood in the photos!!
    Take care and be safe, Snow!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I wonder what that must be like, being pregnant right now. I wish you armfuls of the best luck and warm thoughts!!!
      These classes really do bring me clarity and peace so I hope to keep going… let’s see how things develop, though.
      Covid is speeding up from summer but so far things are under control, as far as I can tell… for once, I’m happy to be living in a relatively small town (Helsinki has only half a million residents), since I imagine things would be exponentially worse in large metropolitan areas. I read about Switzerland’s growing numbers in the news one day.
      Hope you’ll stay well! Keep me up to date on your baby voyage?! How incredible it is to be pregnant!!! Enjoy it to the fullest, even locked indoors!!! ❤️🌻

      Like

  5. I think I need a class like that! (Except all indoor classes here are too crowded for me.) That enduring and waiting sensation may weigh more heavily on us during the dark, winter months. 😦 Let’s keep spring in our thoughts as much as we can!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nose towards the goal – yes, let’s keep spring in mind! Actually, Christmas first, then spring! I’m a big Xmas fan. Love the fact that people use lights everywhere to add some sparkle and atmosphere to the plain darkness. Also love giving gifts and making them into beautiful parcels.
      Oh, and crowded classes are a no-no for me too, so I’m very lucky both these classes are so small!
      Does it get dark in Texas too during winter? In my mind, Texas is one of those forever sunny places, but then I saw a post (by you maybe?) about it getting cold one year. Hmm. I’ve never been there.
      Take care Lexi!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “Drawing our planet with my fingertip, tracing its edges in an invisible line, I feel like I’m healing it, erasing all of the poor planet’s troubles” …. that would have been a wish come true, erasing all of our planet’s trouble at our fingertips isn’t it! So much trouble that our planet is facing as years are added.

    The flowers were in sync with the mood, love it!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Yay! I love pilates! I’ve started doing it just this year because I couldn’t do HIIT and tennis anymore. But since covid I’ve only been doing it online. I’m so lucky to have come across the youtube videos of Jessica Valant (PT as well).
    By the way, the photo edits are beautiful – dark but beautiful. Winter seems to have arrived. But it’s okay because after that is spring. Cheer up my friend! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I love these photos. They are a small piece of good news.
    It’s such challenging times we’re living in, and all we can do I think is put one foot in front of the other, and be as happy as we can. And be sad too because is certainly be appropriate. Just living life as best we can. Day by day, being present as best we can. Your Pilates class sounds like a little haven. A place to make some good news in your mind.
    Alison xo

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Draw the globe and bring energy, dear friend. I sometimes do the same during meditation or yoga class, I relate.
    Let’s make it bright, each one of us, slowly, at least in our personal daily lives, until we can widen the circle.

    Take care. xoxoxo
    (back into lockdown for at least 1 month tonight in France…)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Good idea Juls: until we can widel the circle, all we can do is make ourselves &our families as happy as possible. I head about French lockdown, yes. But 1h exercise allowed daily, right? Here, the winter acts as lockdown anyway: 1h a day is quite enough for a summer girl. Most of the day is dark as midnight. Whereabouts in France are you right now? Did your man stay in Mexico?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I thought the pictures were part of some modern art collection! I like what you did with the photos, particularly the one with the big flower and the sunlight streaming in from the corner.

    I agree – there seems little point planning too far ahead. Just decide for the present, day by day, and hopefully they turn out to be good decisions

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the photo compliment!
      Yes, that’s what’s so odd these days, that a small decision could turn into a horrible mistake. On the other hand, life must go on, too. We can’t sit on our butts for years and years, or else we’ll all get other health issues! 🤪

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Kiitos tästä ajatuksesta. Voi kunpa kaikki paranisi ❤ Mutta tähänkin päivään heräsin etuajassa huolestuneena, viime päivien synkkien väkivaltauutisten häiritseminä.

    Aivan ihania kuvia tässä! Sopivat hyvin tähän syksyn synkkään miiluun, lokakuun taitteen hämäränhyssyyn.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Samoin, olen heräillyt etuajassa huolestuneena. Väkivaltauutiset. Mietin mihin maailmaan olenkaan lapsia halunnut hankkia. Ja kuinka erilaista kaikki oli vielä silmänräpäys sitten, 2000-luvulla. Asuin Pariisissa ja Nizzassa vailla huolen häivää, matkustelin koralliriutoille ja maailma tuntui olevan iloisia seikkailuita varten.
      Korona on saanut ilmastonmuutoksenkin jo unohtumaan, mutta eihän sekään ongelma ole vielä selätetty.
      Kukkakuvien editointi rauhoittaa, joogaa mielelle. Kiitos kun kommentoit! Stay safe!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Those are interesting (though scary) times. It forces you to make decisions. To think about the smallest of decisions. Good or bad, doesn’t matter. You decide… That is good… 🙏🏻

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Your words and your photos were incredible. They captured what is going on around the entire world! I enjoyed reading other people’s comments. In my case, I broke my hip, and had surgery, so I am doubly confined, both with the Covid and the surgery. Plus I was exposed to so many people in the hospital and on all my doctor visits, yet we are told to isolate!! But, yes, most of all, I feel bad for pregnant women. I know how anxious it makes a person just in normal times. With everyone wearing masks, you just cannot connect to other people. It is dehumanizing. (I had to have a Covid test before the surgery and then quarantine for 3 days.). Before I fell, at least I could go on walks. Now I cant do even that. By the way, I know the sensation you are talking about. I was in a Feldenkreis class, which uses slow, slow circling movements, and wow, it was wonderful. But I cannot do any classes like this now, even if a few are opening up.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for your thoughts! And sorry about your hip – hope you’re at least not in pain anymore?
      I’ve thought the same, what a moment to be pregnant! Giving birth can feel overwhelming in the best of times. But on the othet hand it reassures me, seeing how people are moving on with their lives. Life goes on, so we’re going to make it through all this and the world will be a good place again. (I hope.)

      Liked by 1 person

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