Time Never Stops

It’s silent, even the leaves are still. A lone squirrel stares at me.

I’m walking and entertaining myself with thoughts of the mysteries of life. Mysteries such as: What really happens to all those socks that go missing in the washing machine? Why do all my kids’ clothes have holes? Where is all that dust coming from? Why do hairdressers always style your hair in such a silly way just before you leave? Why does WordPress keep making editing harder? Is the moon actually made of cheese, and what kind?

My kids are just entering the “Mummy, why?” phase, and soon we’ll be able to keep each other company with our musings.

I’m on my way to pick them up at daycare. I think of yesterday, how dark it was during the afternoon. I’d walked past a playground and seen a dad pushing his daughter in a swing. It had looked odd, absurd even, like who would take their kid out to play in black, eery darkness? My kids were asking, Mummy, is it nighttime?

I’m pale and drowsy from constant lack of sunlight.

The daily routines that offer kids comfort are largely what I’ve been avoiding all my life. I used to do all I could to shake it up. But now… Life is happening right here, and I’m the one creating the routines. I’m solving the mysteries, fighting the darkness, tolerating the uncertain.

So, let’s go with the flow. Let’s indulge in chocolate and gain some winter weight. Like squirrels, let’s stock up on fat. Like bears, let’s embrace the sleepy vibe. Work doesn’t hibernate, but let’s get comfy, since working from home is a luxury.

In the past few weeks, I’ve laughed with a friend over virgin mango mojitos, seen a magician pull out a live dove from his empty hand, and responded to neighbors’ seasonal lights by adding our own. I’m ignoring the world, selectively.

See you in May, I say to the flowers someone has left in the wind. The sun is setting again.