Life In a Pandemic

6:01, the clock ticks silently, and I’m awake. I no longer have the need for an alarm clock, since I never sleep past six anymore.

Is this the same girl who slept for 17 hours straight more than once in her time-zone-defying flight attendant job a mere decade ago? What is a decade, after all, if not a grain of sand in time?

6:05 I’m handing bananas to my two little boys whose mornings always start with a banana on the couch, huddled together, hair messy from sleep.

6:07-6:27 I’m walking back and forth, here and there, getting things ready.

6:30 I finally sip some espresso while wiping surfaces clean of spilled milk and help the kids do whatever they are up to.

Then I get clothes for the kids, swap them for something they’d rather wear, sprint around some more.

Finally, we are at the stage where outdoors layers may be applied on top of indoors clothing, but the kids are now playing and not in the least bit interested in getting ready to leave for daycare.

7:40 We are at daycare 300 metres away from home, and the whole thing starts again, in reverse.

When I finally leave the daycare building, my bag makes the sound of a police siren and I know without looking that a car must’ve found its way in. Yesterday, my bag ate a postcard and I can’t find it anywhere anymore.

At work, we’re all competing with each other internally.

Looking out the window, the weather looks sunny but it’s actually freezing. We’re still wearing winter clothes. I contemplate going for a walk but don’t feel tempted because I know I won’t enjoy the cold wind.

Cook, clean, organize calendar, cook, clean, read bedtime stories.

In the evening, minutes before I go to sleep, my mind is blank as I stare at my WordPress draft. It’s not writer’s block, but more of a creativity block. I want to write, but I have nothing to write about.

I keep waiting for inspiration. Waiting, waiting, waiting…

Kids – no (private)
Work – no (stay positive)
Weather – no (done that)
Blogging – no (never mind)
Opinions (have none)
Experiences (have experienced nothing new lately)
Ideas (nothing creative going on in my mind right now)
Photography (camera’s broken)
Travel nostalgia (not feeling it)…

Do you ever have this problem – especially during the pandemic? Devoid of creative input, my brain simply isn’t producing anything interesting.

A topic I would like to write about is cultural identity, from a TCK perspective, though strictly speaking I’m not a TCK because our personal history is different, but it’s close enough and the only definition that even slightly fits. But I have too much to say about the topic and I’m finding it difficult to narrow it down and focus on a single viewpoint. Even thinking of it exhausts me.

Maybe for my next post, I’ll publish an old draft from pre-pandemic times about failed event planning. It just seems funny now that events are totally off the radar and it’s a bit of a rant. But the pictures in the post are colourful and waiting for their moment in the spotlight.

10:25 pm, I take a moment to worry about the experiences my kids are missing due to the pandemic, and I feel a wave of relief that I signed them up for football. I wonder if they’ll be happy to try it without my presence, since parents aren’t allowed to come watch, due to Covid.

10:30 I put my earplugs in and fall asleep, exhausted.

In less than 8 hours, it all starts again.