Deciding

In Pilates class, there are only two other participants besides me.

I wonder if it’s safe to go, but go anyway because it’s become almost a private class by now. The same with Yoga. Sometimes I’m joined by only one other person.

Both are local small enterprises and I feel good about supporting them. The light exercise soothes me, and gives me someplace to go as a distraction from working from home. It’s good for my posture, breathing, and stress levels.

You know, it’s already dark outside when my workday ends, and not being able to see if it’s raining, I just assume it probably is.

The government hasn’t banned indoors sports yet and I don’t know how long all this will last. Each week, I seem to decide again and again for the present moment only.

Today, the Pilates teacher tells us to lie down on the floor and draw a large circle with our arm, giving our sides and back a good stretch. Slowly, she says, draw the globe with your finger. Draw the globe and breathe.

In some comforting way, I feel like a child for a brief moment. Drawing our planet with my fingertip, tracing its edges in an invisible line, I feel like I’m healing it, erasing all of the poor planet’s troubles.

And it has so many troubles right now.

Where have all the good news gone?

When I meet people, I see a lack of that certain bright-eyed kind of hope for an exciting life doing happy things – exploring, experiencing, enjoying. People are enduring and waiting and watching. And yet, it could be so much worse. We have been lucky so far.

I want to just keep on drawing that globe and not get up from the floor at all. It feels safe here. I decide to come back.

The pictures are iPhone photos edited with Photoshop Camera